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Date rape is not a rare incident that only happens in isolated situations. In
fact, surveys indicate that in 84% of rape cases, the victim knew the attacker,
and 57% of rapes occurred on dates (Warshaw 11). However, what is even more
surprising than these high statistics is that most incidents of date rape go
unreported. Several theories exist that try to explain this phenomenon. For
example, many women may refuse to believe that their "friend" raped them. In
fact, they could eventually convince themselves that it never happened.
Additionally, there is confusion following the attack in which memory and
emotions become mixed up. When alcohol or drugs are involved, the women may have
no memory of the attack whatsoever. Even if the victim does remember the attack,
they could be left with a sense that they let themselves be taken advantage of.
In cases such as this, the victim may blame them self instead of the attacker.
The shame involved in either being battered by or hurting someone we care
for makes it hard to tell anyone, even those closest to us. People in abusive
relationships often work hard at making it seem as if nothing is wrong. They try
to convince themselves and others that "it's not really that bad," or that "it
doesn't happen all the time." (Hicks 18)
Additionally, societal perceptions
dictate that a woman should know how to set limits, and that they are
responsible for their own actions.
Many women, thinking back on their sexual
experiences, will respond affirmatively when asked the question "Have you ever
had sex with a man when you didn't want to, because he used physical force
against you?" but at the same time offer a firm "no" when asked "Have you ever
been raped?" (Bender 10-11)
While victims of date rape rarely report the
crime, the psychological effects are just as bad as if a stranger raped them.
Since fewer women seek counseling or treatment for date rape than for rape by a
stranger, the effects can be even more severe. In recent years, public attention
has been drawn to the prevalence of date rape through the media and researchers.
However, many believe that date rape is still the most widely underreported
crime. (Warshaw 11-14)
Date rape has existed for as long as recorded
history. In fact a date rape is described in the Old Testament (2 Sam. 13: 1-15)
committed by Amnon, son of Kind David. Despite its long history, public
awareness and attention has not been drawn to the issue until recently. The term
"date rape" was first used in a September 1982 article in Ms. Magazine. In the
past, legislation and public views were very different than they are today. Most
laws defined rape as unwanted vaginal intercourse committed by a man. In recent
years, this definition has been broadened to include oral and anal sex, and
include non-gender specific words. While rape of men is more rare and almost
entirely unreported, it does exist and typically happens between two men. While
public perceptions of date rape have changed drastically, there are still people
today who deny its existence.
Date rape is 20-20 hindsight fiction, invented
by easy sluts posing as hard-to-get and "virtuous." Any girl whose vocal chords
are intact can scream her head off while kicking, scratching, squirming, and
seeking a way to escape. Before you believe her claim of date rape, ask if all
four of her limbs were immobilized, her mouth gagged and her hips held in a
vise-like grip? (Bender 11)
Fortunately, as media attention continues, most
people have begun to acknowledge the prevalence of date rape and its traumatic
effects. (Bender 9-13)
As date rape becomes more widely known, researchers
have tried to analyze why men commit date rape and what the motives are behind
their actions. One common theory states that the inclination to rape is an
evolutionary trait. While men have a greater desire to mate than females,
females select their mates more carefully. The males with the best traits are
then allowed to mate and pass on those traits. Males who are not chosen by a
female are then more inclined to rape. This is essentially an adaptation that
allows a male to increase his reproductive success.
The primary adaptations
responsible for the occurrence of rape were the mechanisms involved in the human
male's greater visual sexual arousal, greater autonomous sex drive, reduced
ability to abstain from sexual activity, much greater desire for sexual variety
per se, greater willingness to engage in impersonal sex, and less discriminating
criteria for sexual partners. (Thornhill 62)
One piece of evidence that
supports this is that the vast majority of rape victims are of a fertile age.
Using this theory, one must conclude that a male would only rape if the benefits
(producing an offspring) outweighed the costs (risk of getting caught and
punished). Many researchers believe that men have a psychological mechanism to
evaluate the vulnerability of women. This device would help a man decide when,
where, and how to rape without suffering consequences. For example, a man with
no intention of committing date rape may proceed with the act if the opportunity
presented itself and he felt he could get away with it. Situations like this
commonly lead to date rape. For example, a male who finds himself alone with his
date in an isolated spot would be more inclined to rape. Another theory states
that men with a lack of resources are more inclined to rape. Since females
select a mate based partially on resources, the male with low socioeconomic
standing would have little chance of being selected. Therefore he is more
inclined to mate without being chosen, or in other words, rape. Another possible
motive for date rape is psychopathy, which is a desire to exploit others and
commit violent acts. Psychopathy is seen in three percent of men, but it is
unknown how often this lead to committing any type of rape. It is believed that
men commit date rape for any number of the above reasons, and in most cases it
is a combination of these reasons. Further research into why men commit date
rape may be helpful in preventing it in the future. (Thornhill 53-82)
Being
raped by an acquaintance is a very traumatic experience and has very negative
psychological and physical effects on the victim. Almost all victims feel some
sort of psychological pain or anguish in addition to any physical pain from the
attack. The effects of a date rape can last for years and treatment is usually
required for psychological and physical damage that is caused. Following a date
rape, the victim must take in what happened, accept it, and readjust. In the
days following the rape, the victim enters what is known as the acute or crisis
phase. In this phase the victim struggles with the fact that they have been
raped, and begins to accept it. Their feelings of anger may turn immediately
toward the rapist, or they may become angry with themselves. They may begin to
question how they could have let it happen and blame themselves. Still others
seem to turn off any emotions they are experiencing, and hold them all on the
inside.
It's important to see this calm or carefree behavior as a woman's
way of dealing with a terrible experience, not as a sign that the experience
wasn't so bad or even that the woman welcomed the rape. Generally, rape
survivors report feeling powerless, shock, guilt, depression, anxiety, shame,
embarrassment, and disbelief during this phase. However, they may have great
difficulty getting in touch with these feelings or expressing them to others.
(Mufson 105)
Next, the victim enters what is known as the disorientation
phase. During this phase the victim is unsure of how to act, and may lose touch
with her surroundings. The victim may avoid meeting people, leaving home, going
outside, dating, and anything else that could trigger a memory of the event.
Finally, the victim enters the reorientation phase where she deals with the rape
and accepts it as part of her life. Although date rape victims report that the
experience never completely leaves them, most women can live healthy lives with
the help of good counseling and support. In addition to psychological effects of
date rape, there are possible physical problems that necessitate medical
attention. When a rape victim receives medical attention, the doctor will
typically check for tears in the vaginal lining, any injuries received during
the attack, pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases. A morning after pill
can be taken with 72 hours of the rape to terminate any possible pregnancy.
Tests for sexually transmitted diseases take much longer to be conclusive. For
example, symptoms of gonorrhea or syphilis do not show up for weeks, and a
person infected with HIV may not exhibit symptoms for years. Clearly, the
effects of date rape are very severe and long lasting. (Mufson 101-110)
To
better understand date rapists and their motives, researchers have created
several profiles that outline common personality types. The first type of rapist
is known as the "Gentleman Rapist". This name is used because after the rape,
the "Gentleman Rapist" will offer to walk or drive the victim home, call her
again the next day for another date, and essentially act as if nothing wrong has
occurred. He will be shocked if he is ever accused of rape. The "Gentleman
Rapist" is less confident of himself and has usually been planning to have sex
with his date. When he is unable to have consensual sex, the "Gentleman Rapist"
will use the threat of violence to get what he wants. Rarely will he actually
injure the victim or use a real weapon. The motive is to be reassured of his
power. Seventy percent of rape cases involve this type of rapist. A "Gentleman
Rapist" is also the most likely to get away with his crime and commit it again.
The second type of rapist is known as the "Control Freak". This type of rapist
accounts for 25% of rape cases. A "Control Freak" is more violent than the
"Gentleman Rapist" and will sometimes use a weapon. In general, he does not care
about his victim, and enjoys having complete control over them. The "Control
Freak" insists on having things done his way and may have sudden personality
changes that escalate into violence. The third type of rapist is known as the
"Revenge Rapist", which account for only 4% of rape cases. This type of rapist
is filled with anger and hatred, usually for a particular woman. An event such
as an affair or cheating can lead to this anger. The rape is a way of
retaliating against the woman he hates, and the "Revenge Rapist" will often take
some sort of "trophy" from his victim. Although the "Revenge Rapist" does not
necessarily intend to kill his victim, he often does. The last type of rapist is
known as the "Sexual Sadist". This is the least common type of rapist and
accounts for only 1% of rape cases. As the name implies, a "Sexual Sadist" feels
excitement from the thrill of his crime. Usually the victim is someone he has
met very recently. He will plan extensively for his crime and always intends to
kill his victim. The "Sexual Sadist" is the most dangerous while the "Gentleman
Rapist" has the least potential for harm.
Your response needs to take into
consideration the personality type of the perpetrator. We have been conditioned
by the media to think of rapists and other violent criminals as twisted, evil
degenerates who are always repulsive and obnoxiousReality Check: Most rapists
are white and choose victims within their own race who live and work near their
own home. Most rapists are not lower class working people but middle-class,
educated men. (Lindquist 51-52)
All the rapists described have different
motives and there are different ways of dealing with each. Knowing the way a
rapist thinks can help prevent an attack. (Lindquist 51-58)
The prevalence
of date rape and acquaintance rape is just starting to become well known in the
public. Each year, new studies are released with knew survey results and
information about date rape trends. Many believe that dating games and rituals
are to blame, and that society promotes dangerous ideas about dating. Mixed
messages, poor communication, and failure to set clear limits in a relationship
are also factors that can lead to date rape. Finally, it is impossible to ignore
the role alcohol and drugs play in so many cases of date rape. In Warshaw's book
"I Never Called It Rape", she argues that the best way to prevent date rape is
education and open discussion.
Educators choose to ignore the reality that
acquaintance rape happens in junior highs, senior highs, and colleges across the
country. Moreover, some school officials find it easier to punt the problem back
to uninformed parents rather than risk calling attention to a possible negative
situation in their own institutions. (Warshaw 169)
Often, parents are
reluctant to consider that their "perfect" child could commit date rape or could
put themself in a position to be date raped. However, if these attitudes are
changed and teachers and parents begin to educate young people about date rape,
the prevalence of date rape will begin to drop drastically.
Works
Cited
Bender, David Date Rape San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1998
Hicks,
John Dating Violence Brookfield: Millbrook Press, 1996
Lindquist, Scott The
Date Rape Prevention Book Naperville: Sourcebooks, 2000
Mufson, Susan
Straight Talk About Date Rape New York: Facts On File, 1993
Parrot, Andrea
Date Rape & Acquaintance Rape New York: Rosen Publishing Group,
1988
Thornhill, Randy A Natural History of Rape Cambridge: MIT Press, 2000
Warshaw, Robin I Never Called It Rape New York: Harper & Row, 1988
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